Learning to Live
by HelplesslyHopelesslyYours
Summary: Life for me was always... complicated. It was complicated in all the reasons that I didn't need, that no little girl needs. Things could have gone differently for me, but after I lost everyone, the world turned out to be even scarier than a child's nightmares could imagine. Natalie grew up alone and scared, but maybe a silly guy named Leo can save her. Rated for swears and lemons.


Life for me was always... complicated.

It was complicated in all the reasons that I didn't need, that no little girl needs. Things could have gone differently for me, but after I lost everyone, the world turned out to be even scarier than a child's nightmares could imagine. My father died when I was six years old, killed in an accident at work. I had no other family, so I was placed in foster care. And that was where my life became one hell after another. Sometimes, I am in awe of my father, because I understand how much he must have loved me, to resist the curse I got from my mother.

My mother is Hedone, goddess of sexual pleasure and bliss. A Greek goddess, in fact. Ever since I was born, my powers have been apparent. In my first foster home, I can still remember the terror. Back then, I didn't understand the look in the father's eyes, I was too innocent and my father had sheltered me for my own protection. That night I was awake, crying from the pain of the loss of my father. That man came into my room, and he sat on the edge of my bed. He placed his hand on my head and spoke kind words to me, holding me close for comfort. But then his hands began to wander.

I was confused and didn't understand what was happening. He undressed me and though I was still confused, I tried to push him away, his touch making me feel sick in my stomach and dirty. He shushed me with a soothing smile on his face as he began to kiss my adolescent body, pinning me down with his weight. I can still remember how I fought him as his tongue crept over my flat chest, fingers beginning to fumble with my most intimate area. I screamed and he shushed me, but his wife came in and was horrified.

She took me away from him and demanded I be put in a new home. She couldn't look at me without crying.

I don't know anything about that family. The man may have been a good person, and my "gifts" simply over powered his self control. I can never be sure.

In each home, I prayed there wouldn't be any men. It seemed that if a boy was thirteen or older, they would be entirely affected. Every night I would close and lock the door, sometimes even sneaking out my window to hide out side. Once I was nine, I searched online for what the men were trying to do to me. I found websites explaining sex, containing diagrams of male and female reproductive organs. It explained puberty to me as well, detailing the changes my body would experience as I grew up.

I also found websites explaining that what the men were doing to me was illegal, and I felt relieved to know that I was right in thinking the way they touched me is wrong.

It wasn't until I was ten than my mother came to me in a dream. She did not have many demigod children and she explained to me that I must learn to control my powers. She told me that I had many abilities that I had yet to discover, and she apologized for the pain that they are putting me through.

When I was twelve, I ran away.

I took six hundred dollars in cash from the family I was with, and I packed a backpack with clothes. They were clothes I had stolen from older girls I had seen around town. Once I ran away, I stayed hidden in a lot of places, living on the streets. I cut my hair short, and I looked older when I put on the teenage girls' clothing and swiped on some mascara.

When I could afford it I rented a room at run-down motels that rented by the hour. When I was fourteen, I learned a new power of mine. The first time I used it was when I was hitchhiking with a trucker. I tried to avoid doing this because I knew it was dangerous, but I had to skip town when I saw my poster in a grocery store. He locked the doors and had me cornered before I could register what was going on. In a gruff voice he demanded I pay him, eyeing my chest. In that moment, I was frozen and I reacted by instinct. I placed my hand on his temple, like a caress, and he passed out.

I frowned and looked away, catching my breath. When I looked back over, I had double vision. I could clearly see him slumped over in his seat, but then I could also see him sitting upright, fondling me. I gasped and swatted at the image. After a moment I realized it was an image of what was going on in his mind. He was dreaming of what he wanted to do to me.

I looked away.

I was very conflicted over the image, and didn't know what to think. I wasn't controlling the dream, but I got the feeling I could if I wanted too. I didn't feel any connection to the phantom me on top of him, but I still felt sick watching the events.

When he was done I touched his face again and the phantom images lined up with reality. He smirked at me and I looked out the window. For another ten minutes he drove me until I was let out in a town somewhere in Georgia. I stayed there for a while, grateful for the mild winters and the large crowds I could easily blend in with.

After I thought about the new power I had, I reasoned I could use it. So I did.

The first few times I felt dirty, but the dreams that the men would have felt real to them while I could just sit on the ground and wait for them to be done. I was a prostitute, but never did a man actually touch me. I got paid, essentially, for knocking them out.

I didn't like doing it but I needed money desperately. Once I had the cash coming in, I was able to take better care of myself. I bought soaps and bath products instead of using the ones some hotels gave out. I bought new clothes, and I started working out. I would go to a trainer when I could, stopping by random gyms across the south and buying long training sessions with a female athletic director. I had been seeing the monsters for years, and I wanted to be able to defend myself.

So for years I took care of myself my own way. I hitchhiked and posed as a fake prostitute all over the south. I lived in parks and cheap motels, I ate at inexpensive diners and fast-food joints, occasionally managing to seduce someone in to wining and dining me for a nice change of cuisine. But I was always alone.

My mother rarely had demigod children, she could probably count all the ones she ever had on her fingers, possibly needing to include her toes. She had plenty of immortal lovers and didn't pay enough attention to the mortal world often enough to have children with them very often. I don't know why, but the other Greek gods never really came to mind. It didn't quite register with me that obviously they must be real and having demigod children too.

That never registered with me until one day about seven months after my 16th birthday.

_If only the summers down here weren't so hot..._

The sun had been beating down on me all day, forcing me to dress in my tiniest jean shorts and a beach top that stopped just above my ribcage. With all the male attention that drew I had to stay careful to remain in highly crowded areas. I didn't need any scumbag jumping me. Walking around in crows was very annoying though. Everybody bumped against me and I could feel eyes pricking at my skin.

Tiny beads of sweat from my own pores and those of stranger's had already begun to soak into the hem of my shorts when I saw them. A couple teenagers running down the street and rounding a corner. But they were holding weapons. Not the plastic or foam kind that you could buy at a store, but gleaming metal ones. I set off after them, tailing the group.

There were two boys and a girl darting around the back streets of Montgomery and I was extremely confused as to why no one was alarmed by their very dangerous looking blades. Suddenly they rounded another corner and I heard them begin to shout.

Peeking around the stone wall there was a giant, and very disgusting, monster there which they were proceeding to fight. I looked on as they battled the demonic looking creature until one of the boys took it down with a final blow. I causally leaned against the wall of the alley way and watched them gather their wits, the girl mumbling about this being a "crappy summer". I snorted at that.

They all turned to look at me and I could feel my gaze change from amused to a cold glare as a familiar haze touched the eyes of the boys. I sneered at them and stood upright staring them down. I snapped my fingers and clarity returned to them.

"Who are you?" The dark haired one asked, shaking his head.

"The fuck are you to ask me that?" I replied before turning to the girl "How come no one else sees your weapons?"

She glanced at her companions before answering "You can see them?"

I rolled my eyes " I wouldn't be asking about them if they weren't being waved around in front of me."

"Is it necessary to be rude?" She asks, irritated.

My stance tilts and I flick my eyes around the alley "Girls are stupid and boys are assholes. I'm not used to talking to people, so excuse me if my social skills are a tad rusty." The attitude in my voice almost tangible.

She flinches slightly before sheathing her sword and walking a little closer to me "Well, I'm assuming you're a demigod...? Possibly?"

I frown and she continues "Do you have a godly parent?"

I look them all over before opening my mouth again "Okay, thanks. I understand now. Cíao."

One of the boys grabs my wrist as I turn to walk away. In an instant I rip myself from his touch and turn a feral snarl on him "Don't you fucking touch me." I practically spit at him.

All eyes are wide at my hostile behavior but I'm not done. I point a delicate finger at him and plant my feet "You want my attention you fucking ask, politely. No one touches me. Not ever. I have control over my body."

His hands rise, palms forward, as he backs away slightly. "Um," he clears his throat "You're a demigod, and I wanted to offer to take you back to camp with us."

I pause and the tense air is cut by my laugh "Camp? How old are you? I don't think so."

The girl steps forward again "No, it's a safe place, for people like us. There aren't any monsters there and you can train."

For an instant pain flashes in my eyes "There isn't a safe place for me."

She frowns and gestures a hand toward an approaching trio of winged horses. "Just... come with us. If you don't like it you can leave. If you stay, you won't have to be on the run any more. I know what it's like to be on the streets."

I sneer at her "Trust me, girl, you know nothing of what I have been through."

Even though, I mounted a Pegasus and easily took off, letting them decide who got to share a horse. The breeze on the way to this "camp" was very nice, but at the same time, the way it danced across my skin made me feel horribly exposed. What seemed to me like a very short time later, we touched down in a quaint little Greek camp with strawberry fields. I dismounted and looked around, clutching the strap on my bag.

There were so many people here, so many _men_. I wanted to hide, to curl up and disappear. Before anyone could say a word to me I had darted behind a building and pulled on a hoodie and sweat pants, effectively covering my body.

The girl rounded the corner and gave me a confused look, and shortly thereafter a fucking centaur showed up.

"Chiron," the girl said "This is a new demigod we ran into..."

"Natalie." I said quietly, frowning at the sound of my name. I had almost forgotten it.

He smiled warmly at me and turned to the girl "Thank you Annabeth, would you be able to show this lovely girl around?"

She nodded and motioned me to follow her. The tour was something else. It looked like a nice enough place, if it wasn't for all the people. After we finished viewing the rock wall she asked me if I knew my godly parent, a question to which I nodded.

She smiled "Who is it? I can show you to your cabin."

"My cabin?"

"Yeah, each god and goddess has their own cabin for their children. Since you're claimed you can move in with your siblings."

"I don't have any siblings. My ma is Hedone."

Her eyes widen slightly as if to say _"Well that explains it."_ and she motions me to follow her. The Hedone cabin was slightly secluded and was an elegant white, but the architecture was sharp and prominent. The girl, Annabeth, left me there to settle in and I stepped inside, pushing the door silks and laces out of my way.

I felt like I should wince at the decoration, but part of me liked it. There was only a single bed, and it was straight in front of the door, a king size with brilliant red silk sheets and a white comforter embroidered with mahogany colored thread. The walls were simple, a creme-pink color with white trim on the top and bottom that had the occasional red accent thrown in. The floor was covered with a plush rug, swirls of reds and whites and mahogany. Two white loveseats were in a corner of the room to my left while a white bookshelf was to my right, a plasma screen in the center.

The most noticeable feature though, was the hanging curtains that descended from the ceiling, separating the room into sections with the translucent white fabric. A curtain of it also encircled the bed. In the back left corner there was a chiffonier and a privacy screen.

I tossed my pack onto a love seat and walked in, brushing my fingers along the curtains.

I stepped behind the screen and found a small doorway, which I opened, and it led down to a beautiful bathroom under the cabin. Smiling, I undressed and took a relaxing shower, washing all the dirt and grime from my body and hair, using the fancy soaps and scrubs to leave my skin light and glowing.

When I stepped out of the shower and toweled off, I looked at my reflection and didn't feel quite so disgusted. I had a thin waist, shapely hips and C cup breasts. My skin was pale, not white, but a flawless creamy color with a slight tint. My hair fell in chestnut colored, wavy layers around my shoulders and reached just below mid-breast at its longest. My legs and arms were long and thin, shapely but tiny, and my eyes were a sharp emerald green. I was beautiful, and it was disgusting.

Turning away I donned a small white sleeping gown and flopped onto my bed after a long day, drifting off into a calm sleep that was long overdue.

The sun filtered through small windows around the top of the room I hadn't noticed before when a girl called out she was coming in. I groggily sat up and rubbed my eyes before looking to see a different girl than before peeking in.

"Good morning! It's your first day, so I wanted you to know that breakfast is in ten minutes at the dining pavilion."

When I nodded in affirmation she left and I looked around. _Maybe I could stay here._

Giving my body a good stretch, I went to get ready. Once again I wore the clothes that left everything to the imagination, and I did my hair back in a tight braid. In the pavilion, everyone was chatting and laughing together like close friends. I sat on the corner of my table as far from all the bustle as I could get, pleased to find a very filling breakfast on my plate.

When I gave a portion of my meal to the gods, I prayed to my mother. I didn't pray for anything specific, simply sending my sacrifice to her.

I finished eating early and slipped off to wander around. I wasn't sure what to do exactly, there seemed to be some kind of schedule set up for training, but I didn't understand it. I opted to observe the camp, trying my best to stay out of sight.

It was the second day at camp that Chiron set me up with a light training regime. I would have two appointments a day, which would cycle through a list of pairs. Already, I was good at most of the skills. I was lithe enough that rock wall climbing was simple, my hand-to-hand combat skills were sharp and my sword fighting was commendable. However, I couldn't lift a javelin worth a shit, and my aim in archery was dreadful. For everything I was good at, there was something I couldn't do to save my life, but something I did excellently, almost as well as Percy, the Poseidon kid, was equestrians.

I loved the mythical horses here.

It wasn't until my second week in camp I realized I was staying. I didn't have any friends and I didn't socialize, but I liked it in camp. I didn't have to be quite so afraid.

I still had to be careful, but I kept a low profile so no one really noticed me yet. I, however, noticed everyone.

It was pretty cute.

I was sitting under a tree, drawing in my fifth sketch pad since I had arrived, when something blew up. There was a rumbling noise and smoke began to billow out of a nearby forge. People were rushing all over to help, but as I watched, I saw a boy walk out of it, on fire. He was literally on fire.

I was to shocked to react at first, but then he shook his arms slightly, like shooing a bug, and the flames went out, leaving him in blackened clothing and a charred wool apron. I quirked an eyebrow as he removed his soot-covered goggles and laughed guiltily. Where the goggles had been was tan skin, a contrast to his black face, dirty with ash.

"My bad guys..." He called as Percy showed up to douse the place. Piper, the girl who woke me up on day one, slapped the back of his head and called him an idiot.

I continued to watch as he took a proffered towel and wiped his face off, leaving black streaks across his tan face. His eyes were mischievous and the tousled look to his hair gave off the "I'm totally going to prank you to death." kind of vibe. I smiled slightly and looked back to my sketch pad, drawing out the boy's handsome face.

At the campfire I learned that his name was Leo, and he was a son of Hephaestus and that he blew up regularly. He joked in a lot more playful way than the others at camp, and I could tell in an instant that he and I had something in common. Neither of us really knew how to handle people. He was almost as uncomfortable interacting with others as I am, but he had made friends...

A few days later, I was sprawled out under my regular tree, with my hood up and my loose drawings spread around me. I had an opened sketch book and was working on compiling some of the quick drawings into a collective scene when an ever-so-slight breeze hit.

I managed to grab most of my drawings but one paper floated down the hill and got kicked up right at the end. I watched as it rolled around on the grass before someone caught it. The boy, Leo, studied the drawing for a minute or two before looking up and seeing me. He jogged up with a pleasant smile on, holding the sketch.

He had to lean down considerably for me to reach, as I was laying on my stomach. "You're an amazing artist." He says

I shrug and smile lightly at the complement, expecting him to leave, but he looks around at the other drawings before speaking again, not looking up from one sketch I had done of the camp battleship.

"I'm Leo, by the way." He squats and looks through the drawings again and I can feel myself start to get uneasy "You'd be great at drawing blueprints."

I look down at my sketch book "I guess."

I can feel his eyes on the top of my head "What's your name?"

"Natalie."

He pauses and stands up "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

His tone is embarrassed and I feel guilty. I understand not knowing how to speak with people.

"Wait," I say, sitting back on my heals. I don't know what to say. "It's my fault, I don't really like people."

_... The fuck? Why did that come out?_

He chuckles though and rubs behind his neck "I'm not really good with people myself. May I sit?"

I nod and watch him carefully. I'd never really interacted with a man like this before. It was unknown territory. I took this opportunity to look him over. He was tall, maybe six feet, half a foot taller than me. He was built lean and thin but years of forgery had bulked what parts of him I could see, his face was devilish and sneaky, but angular and masculine. His hair was in thick curls, a dull coffee color and his eyes were a deep golden brown. I studied the way he sat, relaxed but withdrawn.

We sit in silence for a while and I absently mindedly begin to draw him. I don't get far before he looks over and sees me. I blush mildly and he grins, looking at the simple drawing. I don't look up.

"I don't see you talk to people much." He says "Doesn't that get lonely?"

I frown and shrug "I dunno. I'm used to it, I have nothing to compare it too."

His eyes turn sad "How about we talk, and you can compare it to that?"

I curl in on myself "I really have nothing to talk about. I have my reasons for needing to be alone."

He leans forward "That's fine! Trust me I can really ramble on, it's something Piper always wants to hit me for."

I giggle slightly and his smile grows wide. That seemed to break a dam and he began to explain to me all his projects that he's working for. Watching him talk about them is something fascinating. He gets so animated and passionate, and I'm mildly jealous he has something he loves so much that he can share with people. I love to dance, I've always been mesmerized by ballet and I fell in love with point after the first time I tried it. It's what I love most, but I can't perform in public, even though I am skilled enough. You can't exactly do ballet in sweats and whenever I put on tights and a leotard, put on some make up and sweep my hair back, then I attract the lustful stares that burn my skin.

Right as he begins to explain to me some new plans he has for some sort of submarine, I stand, gathering my things.

"It's time for me to go to training." I explain and he stands with me.

"Oh cool, what do you have?"

I grimace slightly "Hand-to-hand combat."

"Not very good?" He grins playfully at me. I adopt my usual cold expression,

"No, I have yet to be defeated. I just... it's complicated."

Close range fighting was something I dreaded. I was forced to wear a regular camp shirt instead of my sweater and I had to get in really close to people and show off my flexibility. I avoided training with men, but the few I had fought with got distracted, and would always end up staring at my chest.

Leo nods slowly "I'll see you later then."

I toss him a strained smile over my shoulder as I walk away.

That night I lie awake, staring at my ceiling. I felt confused and very much scared. I had always thought that if I ever decided to talk to anyone, it would be a girl. You cannot trust anyone, but boys are always the most dangerous.

In the morning I sat around my cabin, lounging in my nightgown on my bed and scowling when I saw my reflection. I couldn't even look gross with bed head. I skipped breakfast and sat with a book, trying to decide what to do that day, and if I even wanted to leave the cabin. This place, as great as it is, was starting make me claustrophobic. There were too many people, and even worse was that they were all the same every day. This camp had a community, one I desperately tried to be unnoticed by, but after over a month there, I could hear the whispered rumors some people said about me.

They were the kinds of rumors that I was specifically trying to avoid. The ones that boys said amongst friends, discussing which girls looked the most _"fuckable"_ and who had the best rack. I could feel it in their eyes and see it on their lips when they talked about me.

I was sitting, and trying to figure out if having friends would make my life easier, if it could help me deal with the whispers and the eyes undressing me in their minds.

Suddenly someone was at my door and had parted the curtains, leaning in. It was Leo. I sat still in surprise as he looked back at me before his face turned beet red and he covered his eyes.

"I am _SO_ sorry, I didn't I mean- I don't really think before I... Shit-" He stutters out and I leap out of bed and grab a robe which I tie tightly around my body, horrified that anyone saw me in my flimsy nightgown that gave you a pretty damn good idea of what I might look like without it on.

My eyes stung with hot tears of humiliation as I looked back at him. Leo was still blushing and had a hand slapped childishly over his face, he was half turned out of the door.

I cleared my throat "What?"

My voice broke slightly and he frowned "Is it okay for me to look?" He asks.

I shuffle my feet, wrapping my arms around me and letting my hair hide most of my face "Yeah."

His hand comes down and he meets my eyes. Upon seeing my reaction the guilt there intensifies. "_Fuck_- I am so sorry Natalie, I wasn't thinking and it's past noon so I wanted to know if you were okay or needed anything since you hadn't been around and I dunno why I didn't realize you'd probably not be up already I just... gods I'm sorry. I know you don't like people seeing you when you aren't bundled up and I..."

Leo trailed off. Hesitantly I perched on the edge of my bed and I test his emotions slightly. I grow incredibly confused when there isn't any of the lust there, only humiliation, guilt and concern.

"You didn't become lustful." I say, not caring that it sounded strange.

His head quirks to one side and he looks confused "No. I mean, you're incredibly beautiful, but I intruded on you and you got so hurt and scared and horrified when I came in... Why would I get-"

I choke out a sob and start trembling then, so much stress from my whole life finally sucker-punching me in the face. He yelps slightly and moves slightly towards me, not sure what he should do.

I hold myself around my waist as the tears pour down my face, hot and salty. No matter how hard I try I can't stop them. The mattress dips slightly as he sits about two feet away from me, hovering but not touching me. I look at his face and search all over his expression.

No one has ever been concerned for me other than my dad. But here Leo is, sitting near me but respecting me and all that I can see on his face is concern for me. I cough as a hard sob wracks through my chest and I lean forward. I open my mouth and begin to choke out words

"I'm sorry- It's not you- I just... I just," I shake my head and stop sobbing but my voice still breaks and trembles. "It's so hard, not to be afraid."

"What happened to you?" He asks. Not disgusted or judging, but full of sadness and fear of my answer.

Before I know it I spill it all to him. I tell him about my first foster home, and about all the ones after that. I tell him about the sixteen year old boy in Washington when I was seven, who pulled me out from under my bed and pinned me down and forced my hand down his pants. I tell him about the old drunken man in California when I was eight, who cornered me and managed to shove his slimy cock in my mouth before I got away. I told him about all the wandering hands and the probing eyes. I even told him about that one night in a club, nearly two years ago, when I threw away my virginity so that it wouldn't be there for someone to steal.

I don't know when, but his arms wrapped around me, held me and smoothed my hair down. Leo held me tight and I clung to the front of his shirt. _Oh!_ I had forgotten what it felt like. How it was to be in someone's arms and not be afraid. How it felt to be this close to somebody and not feel dirty.

He held me and I realized I had started crying again.

"Why? Why are you different?" I plead and I want so desperately to know the answer.

"I don't know." He replies "I don't think I'm anything special."

There is a deep fury in his voice and I shrink from it and he apologizes "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just- I don't understand how there are so many sick bastards in the world."

Eventually, I cry myself to the point of collapse and I'm drifting off as I feel him lift me up. Leo places me in the center of my bed, and pulls the blankets up to my chin. He brushes a piece of hair from my cheek and I can hear him leave the cabin as I fall asleep.

I wake later in the night, while it is still dark outside. My cheeks feel sticky and dry from the salt that clung to my skin from my tears. I glance over at the clock and see that it will be sunrise in an hour. My whole body aches as I sit up, and I stretch slightly before walking into the bathroom and drawing a hot bath in the enormous tub, throwing in vanilla bubble bath and sea-salts.

I undress and slowly lower myself into the hot, soothing water. For what seems like days I sit there, relaxing, before taking a facecloth and washing myself. I lather my hair up and cleanse my whole body before stepping out of the tub almost three hours later to dry off and brushing my hair. I slip into a white camisole and low riding pajama pants.

Back in my room I towel dry my hair and shake it out. I don't know what to do.

I don't want to go back to camp activities at all, but if I stay here all day I'll become incredibly bored. Just then my stomach growls and I remember that I hadn't eaten all day yesterday. I frown and don't want to have to put on actual clothes and head to the pavilion. For about half an hour I sit there, conflicted, before someone whistling walks up to my cabin.

"Are you awake?" Leo calls through the curtain and I smile in spite of myself.

"Yes, you can come in." I reply, steeling myself for him to enter and for me to resist the urge to hide.

The curtains are pushed aside and he walks in holding two plates, two goblets and a handful of silverware. He sees me sitting cross-legged on my bed and pauses. His eyes widen slightly and I bite my lip in concern. _"Wow."_ He whispers slightly to himself and a pink color tinges his cheeks. I can feel his eyes on me, but they don't linger on my hips or my chest like others do. The expression in his eyes isn't lustful, yet again, instead seeming almost awed.

He clears his throat and looks down, catching himself looking at me and he holds up the table settings. "I brought magic plates cause I figured you would be hungry."

His grin is bashful and I laugh. He seems relieved that I don't seize up and offers me a plate and goblet. I envision a heaping breakfast and glass of spiced milk which appears immediately. I accept the silverware and begin to dig in, vaguely noticing that he begins to eat as well.

"Did you sleep okay?" He asks, to which I nod.

"I took a really long bubble bath this morning too so I'm very well rested." I say with a bright smile which stuns him for a moment.

_I wonder why I'm in such a good mood._

He continues eating, asking me about trivial things and telling me about himself.

When I finish eating I place the empty plate on the floor and when I sit back up I realize I had given Leo a pretty good view of my ass due to his wide eyes being glued to the ceiling. I flush slightly and look at my hands in my lap. He clears his throat.

"Why do you cover up so much?" He asks, casually.

I look back at him "People stare if I don't. I get unwelcomed attention."

He frowns and nods. "It's just, you're really beautiful. Even if you just kept your hood down, you would brighten up any room."

I tuck my hair behind my ear and laugh nervously. He apologizes "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

I shake my head "No it's fine. I just, I dunno, it's scary to me." I lick my lips "You're the first person to use that word for me though."

Leo remains silent and I look over to see him studying my profile. We sit in silence for another few minutes before I lay down on my side and watch him. He truly is quite attractive. I'd never really given it much thought before, but he was very handsome.

"You'd think that as a daughter of the goddess of sexual pleasure, I'd get some pleasure from sex."

He quirks his eyebrow, amused "Well yes, I would guess so. What brought that on?"

I shrug and snuggle into the fluffy comforter "Sex has been something filthy and undesirable to me. I've always found that ironic given my parentage."

His eyes look sad "You've had it so hard. How the hell can you stand to be around me, given your past?"

"You don't stare at me, or undress me with your eyes, and you don't assume I'm some kind of plaything. You're different."

"You know what I think is ironic?" He asks "That one of the guys worse with girls than almost anyone else is the guy you decide to trust."

"How are you horrible with girls? You aren't a virgin." I reply and he flushes

"Well- no, but I mean, I can't really charm a girl at all. Or talk to them. That was only a couple times and it was... casual I guess."

I giggle as he stutters through his explanation "Well at least that proves you're attractive."

He smiles at me "Okay."

I can't stop the laugh the bubbles through my lips at his bashful response. He grins brightly at me and laughs a little too.

"Thank you." I say

His smile doesn't leave his lips "For what?"

"For making me happy."

The next few weeks were amazing. I finally decided to exit my cabin and Leo introduced me to his friends. It was the first day I didn't wear sweats, instead dressing in low-set baggy jeans and a light summer blouse.

Even though the boys did let their eyes linger a tad too long, they were all polite and kind. Leo walked around with me all day, helping me to ignore the stares that stung at my skin. I didn't have much to say, but just being included in all the laughs and conversations was something new and I surprisingly enjoyed it. Slowly, people began coming to me to hang out or just talk.

It did take me a while, but slowly I figured out how to talk to people. All along the way though, Leo was there, laughing and joking, blowing up on occasion.

I hadn't been sure about camp, but now, I was actually happy. I wasn't afraid, I wasn't angry, I wasn't alone.

After three more weeks at camp I had an actual group of friends and I had stopped wearing my sweats almost all together, finally able to enjoy my baggy cargo pants and loose tee-shirts. Leo had me helping him draw out blueprints for his gadgets and inventions almost every day.

"Natalie!" I looked over to see Leo jogging towards me with his arms full of charts and grinning widely. I smiled at the seventeen year old.

"Hey,"

He dropped the charts in a heap in front of me and just stood smiling at me. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Oh! Right-" he shook his head and dropped next to me "I wanted to ask if you were going anywhere for the school year."

I shook my head "No. I'm staying here."

His grin got wider "Me too! Everyone one else is leaving tomorrow and I was trying to see if any of my friends were still gonna be around for me to accidently almost blow up."

I giggle and pull my hair over my left shoulder "Well, thank you for not killing me yet. But yes, I am staying. Is Percy leaving? He's nineteen."

"Yeah, he's going to the Roman camp to attend their college."

I nodded and looked around the camp. Leo scooted closer to me and looked forlornly at the pile of scrolls. "I did not think that through."

We both carried the diagrams down to his forge and sorted through them, putting them in the proper slots.

The next day, we bid farewell to over half the campers as they left for various parts of the country. I almost cried when I had to say goodbye to Annabeth, who I had grown close with in the past few weeks. For most of the rest of the day I moped around, bemoaning the loss of so many of my friends so shortly after I had met them. The camp seemed so empty now. Right when I had stopped hating the large population was when it finally decided to get under control.

I snorted _Just my luck._

Leo joined me sitting on the front steps of my cabin, watching as the day turned purple as the sun set.

I felt his eyes on me and turned to meet his gaze. His eyes were slightly widened again, and that look of awe touched his features. I blushed slightly, like I usually did when he would look at me like that.

He cleared his throat but the expression stayed in place on his features, "You're amazing."

"Thank you," I look down at my knees for a moment "why do you look at me like that?"

He quirks a lopsided smile "Because sometimes, when I look at you, then it's like I'm seeing how beautiful you are for the first time all over again."

I can feel the blood burning in my cheeks and suddenly my hands get clammy. I find it hard to breathe and my stomach is churning. I don't know how to respond, I'm nervous, and I'm scared.

He looks away from me and watches as stars begin to appear in the twilight. "You're so strong. You're the strongest person I know and you say you don't like people but you're so compassionate and considerate of others." My heart races and I think I might puke. "I just want to make sure you know how incredible you are."

I laugh nervously "If I didn't know you, I'd think you were going to..." I trailed off. To anyone else then I suppose this might seem like the moment to kiss, but all I could think of was those selfish hands roaming all over me. Leo wouldn't do that, but I couldn't stop the thoughts.

He studied my expression and brushed my hair behind my ear "No. I'm not."

I nod and keep my eyes glued to the ground. I can feel angry tears forming behind my eyes. _Stupid girl!_ Part of me wished, so very badly, that I could look at him. These things he was saying were so sweet, and kind, and made me feel treasured. But years of hiding and fighting kept my humiliated gaze directed downwards.

He seemed to sense the conflict inside me and took one of my small hands in his calloused one, tracing little patterns in the palm. I managed to look away from the grass to watch.

"I'm sorry." He murmured "I shouldn't have said anything. I just hoped..."

He trailed off, not sure what to say. I continued watching his fingers trace the lines in my palm. With a heavy sigh he continued "I just hoped I could at least tell you, and I did. But I also hope, that somewhere under all your pain, you know I wouldn't do anything you didn't want me to."

I almost cried then. Because I wanted him to... I wanted him... I don't know what I wanted. I couldn't speak, but as he moved to get up I grabbed his hand and held him near me. I moved closer to him, nudging his arm which he lifted and I moved to rest against his side with his arm around me, gently resting on my waist. I took his free hand in mine and mimicked his actions earlier.

Slowly, I was able to move my eyes to his face, but was unable to meet his gaze. I huffed out a frustrated sigh and floundered in my mind to figure out what the hell I was feeling, what was going on. Then I felt his hand move from mine and cradle my cheek. He pressed his lips to my forehead in a chaste kiss and when I leaned into his touch, he pulled back.

Then, without me registering what it meant, he got closer to me, and I felt his lips on mine. I was frozen for a fraction of a second as my mind began to race. His lips were warm and soft, pressing against my own in a sweet kiss. I leaned in and kissed him back, hesitantly moving my lips against his. A burst of elation surged through him and he held me tighter, still being gentle. My hands came up, one resting on his chest and the other on his shoulder.

It was so different from everything I've seen or experienced before. The churning in my stomach calmed and my cheeks cooled down. Ever so slightly I sucked on his lower lip, running my tongue along it and grazing my teeth across the skin. I felt a zing of arousal go up his spine, but his kiss stayed innocent and his hands didn't wander. I smiled slightly and leaned my body closer to his before pulling back from the kiss.

His eyes were slightly hooded, and they glittered with happiness. I smiled shyly back at him and he placed another kiss on my head before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him as we felt the night air cool around us.

His cheek rested on my head and I absently played with the front of his shirt. Finally I gained my voice back.

"I trust you." Was all I said.

I could feel him smile and he tightened his arms for a moment. I pulled away and stood up. "Let's go inside, it's cold."

We sat on the loveseat together with a blanket wrapped around us as he kissed me again, still being chaste. I sighed and leaned into his chest, moving so I was sitting on top of him, placing sweet kisses on his lips. Slowly, I could feel something build in my stomach and I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth while I caressed behind his ear. His breath shuttered and he held me close to him, hands staying on my lower back but the way they flexed told me he was using restraint to keep them there.

I slowly opened my mouth, an invitation and his tongue slipped between my lips to meet my own. His mouth tasted spicy and sweet, and his tongue set fire in my belly as he gently explored my mouth. I pulled back for a moment before I kissed to his jaw line and suckled my way to his neck where, instinctually, I found where to kiss. He stifled a moan as I began to nip at the skin. I could feel him fighting to keep it under control as I stroked his shoulders and arms with my finger tips, knowing just how to make him feel good.

His member began to harden in his jeans under my lap as I kissed his skin. I shifted and gently bit him on the sensitive spot I had been attending to on his neck. A masculine groan rumbled through his chest, and his fingers pressed against the skin of my lower back. I moved back to his lips and he kissed me more aggressively than before I leaned into it and smiled as he held me.

Suddenly I became very aware of his fully hard and quite prominent erection beneath me and I froze. He immediately stopped and pulled back, releasing me and starting to apologize. I felt angry with myself and I was blushing furiously, my hands wringing together.

"Natalie, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have-" But I cut him off.

"I- I'm sorry," I begin, voice trembling "I can't... but I can't take care of... I can't touch... I'm just not ready- I, I'm sorry, please don't be mad."

His brow furrows and he immediately lifts me off of him to sit beside him on the loveseat. "Natalie, look at me."

I lift my head up but my eyes remain down in shame. He holds my chin and doesn't speak until my eyes meet his "I could never be mad at you. How could I possibly be mad at you for _that_?"

"I don't know."

He nods and smiles kindly at me, brushing the back of his fingers against my cheek "I told you that I didn't want to do anything you didn't want me too. Honestly I didn't think I'd get past a kiss on your forehead."

I giggle and he blushes, glancing down at the seat of his pants. Placing one last kiss on my cheek he stands "I'm going to head to my cabin. You should sleep."

I nod and he leaves. My heart is still racing and I sit for a moment before smiling to myself.

We developed a nightly routine, where he would drop me off at my cabin, but not come inside, giving me a goodnight kiss. Some nights we would spend half an hour in the doorway and others would end with a simple peck on the lips. Slowly, though, my confidence was building.

"Goodnight," Leo said, leaning in for a kiss.

I took his hand when his lips left mine and took him inside the cabin. He looked confused but I simply led him to the edge of the bed and pointed to the center of the headboard. He obeyed, kicking off his shoes and moving to sit propped against the wooden headboard at the center of the bed.

I crawled across the sheets to straddle his hips and my hands came to his shoulders. In spite of his efforts, a few sparks of anticipation ignited in his eyes. I leaned forward and kissed him as his hands came to rest on my waist.

I leaned into the kiss more and more until it was needy and passionate. His fingers were digging into my sides in an effort to stay put but I covered his hands with my own and moved them to the base of my tee-shirt, indicating that he could proceed. He leaned back from me and cautiously pulled the shirt over my head. If his erection wasn't there before, it woke up fast. He took in my flat stomach and tiny waist, moving up to my breasts that were covered in a black lace bra. His eyes explored my collar bone before meeting my gaze again. Slowly he moved forward, checking my reaction, to place a kiss on the exposed cleavage of my breast.

I sighed and he moved his lips back to my own, his hands tracing up and down my sides. Leo obliged when I removed his shirt and I elicited a groan from him as I nipped and kissed my way across his collar bone. He leaned into my touch as my fingers trailed over his chest and abdominals. I provoked several curses from his mouth before my hand covered his jean-clad erection and applied pressure.

At this his eyes flew wide open and his hand came to take mine off of him. He searched my gaze before releasing my hand and kissing me. I moved to his fly and unbuttoned his jeans, slowly releasing his throbbing cock from its confinements. Leo's hands moved to hold my ass and he hissed when my hand wrapped around his bare flesh. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were hooded. A million wants stood on his tongue but he bit them back.

At the first movement of my hand over his swollen cock, his hips bucked upward. I kissed him again as his hands trailed up my body, resting just below my breasts, and his fingers moved lightly to trace the bottom of my bra.

I moved my hand faster and added another to the action, knowing just how to please him. His body fell back against the headboard and he cursed again, a moan rolling off his tongue. His eyes looked over every inch of my body, lingering on my face. His eyes closed tight as I brought him closer and closer to his peak. Finally, he climaxed, jaw tensed and a guttural growl ripping from between his teeth. His cum shot up and landed on my stomach, the rest landing on his hips.

Leo was breathing hard and I smiled proudly as he lazily ran his hands along my waist. I grabbed a small blanket and cleaned us up before stowing his member and laying against him. His arms encircled me and he planted half-asleep kisses on my head. He caught his breath and tilted my head up to look at him.

"Was that okay?" He asked sleepily. I nodded against his skin and placed a kiss on his lips.

Content, he closed his eyes, and shortly after we both drifted off.

The next day Leo was practically bouncing off the walls. He was cheerful and would sporadically sweep me up in a kiss. I teased him about it endlessly.

That night though, he surprised me.

We walked into my cabin but he caught me and had me against a wall. His lips pressed against my own and he worried his lip. I asked him what was wrong.

"Let me pleasure you." He said "Let me make you feel good."

I frowned and shuffled my feet. I was embarrassed. It was one thing to please him, but I wasn't sure what I wanted in return.

He spoke quickly, explaining "It's just, I don't think it's fair to you. I want to touch you, so badly Nat, but I won't do it until you say it's okay."

Slowly, I nod and he beams at me. I find myself laying down on my bed, with him hovering over me, staying close and kissing my lips sweetly, lovingly. Gently, he removes my shirt and then, very slowly pulls my bra down. I hold my breath as his lips close over my skin and he begins to lick and tease me. I exhale sharply in surprise and my eyes close. He pauses but my chest rises to try and find his mouth again on impulse.

With a smile he continues his actions, his fingers drifting lower. Suddenly, I feel his fingers against me and a finger dips ever-so-slightly into my entrance. It was then I realized how wet I had become. Leo moves his mouth to my other breast as he caresses my folds. I shutter and mewl slightly, my hips rocking into his hand. With that he presses a single digit inside me, pumping it slowly in and out. I moan and thrust against his hand, wanting more. Of what I couldn't tell, I just wanted more of _him_. Another digit is added and his thumb moves to circle my clit. I gasp loudly and he continues his rhythm. Pumping his fingers inside me and massaging my clit while his mouth moves on my breast.

I can feel myself building up and he must too because his hand moves faster and I can't stop the moans and cries from leaving my lips. He continues to touch me until I let out a scream and he covers his mouth with his free had to stifle it as I climax.

He kisses his way to my lips and peppers my face with little kisses, smiling. "How was that?"

I manage to calm my breathing and smile at him "Amazing."

A triumphant smile overtakes his face and he kisses me again, pulling me close to him. I curl up in his arms and love the sound of his heart against my ear.

These events led to the occasional sexy night, building our way up and taking it further and further as I was ready. Leo was a compassionate lover and a wonderful boyfriend. He was funny and kind, he had his quirks and would sometimes burst into flames, but to me, he was perfect.

The winter passed quickly, even without our friends there for company. We got lost in our own little world. The tree that we first met under was our typical place and almost every day we were there, sitting close, and talking. I was in love with him. Completely and helplessly.

The sun was coming up on a day in March and the air was still crisp from the night. Leo and I were under our tree like normal and I was giggling as he playfully pinched my sides. He caught my smiling lips in a kiss and held me close to him. We calmed down and then he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Natalie," He began and I hummed in acknowledgment.

He paused for a brief moment and I wondered what he would say.

"I love you."

My world stopped right then and there. Beaming I turned my head to kiss him "As I love you."

From the joyous look in his eyes I felt, for the first time, that my future was looking alright. I couldn't be happier.


End file.
